Life Lessons . . .

Asalaam ‘Alaikum Everyone:

I know lately we haven’t been “out much” and it has been too quiet. The stress level has increased a bit over here but the girls are learning valuable lessons (as I am) about life. As you know – we’ve been busy with baby and then school has also started with the K12 program. So far, things are going well with school – although it is quite an adjustment for us. My oldest already has some favorite classes and gladly and happily tells everyone she meets all about what she is learning.

A dear elderly Muslim friend of ours lately has taken quite ill. She has no family so we kind of adopted each other since we met 7 years ago. She was able to visit us in the hospital within hours of whenever my children were born so she definitely feels part of the family. My girls love her and treat her like a grandmother and dear friend. However, her health has been failing – first being admitted to the hospital and eventually being admitted to a nursing home. It has been quite a difficult transition for her – but she has decided that staying in a nursing home is the best option for her because she just can’t handle doing things on her own anymore (she is 72). While she is there – and since she has no family – I have had to take the role of caregiver and I have also had to deal with moving her belongings (deciding what to keep/not to keep); making medical decisions with her and financial decisions on her behalf.

It has not been easy – understatement there! However, I feel that she deserves this as a part of our Muslim Community and no one else is willing to step in to help. The hard part is that everytime you think you are making progress – there are obstacles to overcome and usually difficult people to deal with (especially on the part of the nursing home itself and their inability to communicate and provide decent care).

So, why am I rambling on about this? Well, first of all, that’s why I’ve been quiet. Second of all, I wanted to mention that through this difficulty the girls are definitely learning more about life and how we approach it as a Muslim, insha’Allah. They are learning the importance of community in Islam and they are also learning about Compassion – insha’Allah. I have tried to stress to them that while I love this sister – that the most important tie that binds us is Islam. That we love for the sake of Allah – and that, while things like this might not be easy to deal with – we need to be there for each other.

They are also learning that at some point we do get old and that life is then not as easy as it may be now. They also see the injustice of other people and they realize that many people in our community are just not willing to help out those in need. Insha’Allah – some day it will make them be better Muslims.

I hope, insha’Allah, this lesson will teach them compassion for their fellow Muslim and they will understand their important role in being a member of the Muslim community – and the community at large. I hope, insha’Allah, that they will remember these moments and truly understand loving another person for the sake of Allah. They have gotten frustrated at times – because they realize that many people in the community don’t want to bother with people they don’t know – aren’t willing to lend a helping hand or a smile. Alhumdulilah- even now my girls drag me halfway across a store just to give the greetings of Salaam to another Muslim. (Masha’allah – the smiles they receive can be so contagious!) So, I guess while our Muslim communities become more divided and people become less concerned about one another; when many Muslims today do not even greet one another unless they are friends – insha’Allah my girls will be learning that while many Muslim people may not be truly living in the spirit of Islam – that Islam does provide the perfect model for society. And, when implemented – it makes us all strive to be a better person, insha’Allah.

Insha’Allah you shall hear more about our learning adventures – we aren’t done yet! However, it may take some time.

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Please – find it in your hearts to assist an elderly person in your community. You cannot even imagine what obstacles they have to overcome – what loneliness and despair they may have to deal with on a daily basis. In a country where we are all alone – unless for those of you who actually have extended family here – it is not easy – especially for those who are elderly. You should not underestimate the value of a smile – a helping hand – an arm to lean on. Please reach out to them. And, for those of you who have the time, please make dua for my friend and her health, insha’Allah – I know she would truly be grateful. Jazak Allah khair.

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Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “By Him in Whose Hand my soul is! You will not enter Jannah until you believe, and you shall not believe until you love one another. May I inform you of something, if you do, you love each other. Promote greeting amongst you (by saying As-salamu `alaikum to one another)”. [Muslim]

Asalaam ‘Alaikum,

Sumayyah Umm SAA